


He had missed.

by JamieBenn



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 07:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12930849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieBenn/pseuds/JamieBenn
Summary: Jamie is upset after a game.





	He had missed.

The game was playing through his head, repeatedly. That shot that was so very close at being a goal, but he had missed. It had hit the post, and the game had been over for them. He had tried not to cry during post-game, when they held microphones to his face, asking him to be all captainly about the fact that they had just been beaten 1-0. What made it that much more harsh was the fact that he had been the one to give the puck away. That his skate had slipped, and he had fumbled on the ice so that the Blues player could grab the puck as he _struggled_ to keep his balance.

Sacrificing your body was the one thing that a hockey player was supposed to do. It was the team or it was nothing. That was why stories from right around the league would come out after every season. _So and so was playing on a sprained ankle, so and so had to have surgery on his arm, Jamie Benn had to have double hip surgery._

He tried to be that person all the time but sometimes it just couldn’t work. He would have to be crazy to make a shot whilst falling to the ground, but some people would do it. He should have done it. Instead, he made a giveaway that cost them the game.

He couldn’t cry in front of the media, but he knew that he could cry now, in the comfort of his own apartment. Each second of his mistake flew through his mind. Every frame. How could he have been so foolish? How hard is it to stay upright? To just be the hockey player that they paid him millions of dollars a year to be?

The couch was comfortable, it was coming in from the surroundings and felt like it could swallow him whole. He wished that he could just call his brother, talk to him about what had happened, but he was in Canada. Too far away to be of much help. Then there was Tyler. He had a soul that was so bright, so cheerful. Jamie didn’t want to be the person to bring his soul down. There were others, but he didn’t feel close enough to them. There was really nothing he could do except sit alone and cry to himself.

He opened the can of beer that he had brought with him to the couch with a quick twist of his wrist, and brought the opening to his mouth, a tear running down his cheek and mixing with the amber liquid that already found itself in trace amounts atop the can.

He had cried himself through half the can when he heard a knock on his front door. He hardly doubted for a second who it was, but still looked through the peep hole just in case. Tyler stood there, a six pack natty light rested on his hands as he looked up at the ceiling.

Only Tyler Seguin could look at a crying Jamie Benn and not comprehend it for a few seconds. His grin was just what it always was, until Tyler saw the red streaks and liquid nestling on his cheeks. The smile fell upside down as the younger man became worried, reaching out to touch Jamie’s shoulder in comfort.

“Are you okay, Jame?” he asked, looking up at Jamie like he was daring him to lie.

So he didn’t. Jamie looked at Tyler and shook his head, because he wasn’t okay. It wasn’t nice to carry the weight of an entire franchise on the top of your shoulders. One lost game could mean that they miss out on playoffs that season, or that they get the worst seeded position. He wasn’t okay, and as Tyler pushed them into the apartment, Jamie broke down with fresh tears escaping from his normally bright and wide eyes.

“If this is about the game, Jamie, you did so well. Those shots that you blocked were amazing! And those few chances that you got could have gotten us there. Their goalie was just too good tonight. You did well!”

Jamie shook his head. “Imma bad captain, Tyler.” Wetness dripped from his cheeks onto Tyler’s shirt.

“No. You’re the best captain that I, and every single person that goes on the us for us, could ask for. You are nothing compared to those other teams’ captains.” Tyler took his hands off of Jamie for a moment so he could demonstrate. “Sidney Crosby is here,” he put a hand about the height of his belly button, “Chara is here.” He put the hand even lower.

Tyler put both his hands on Jamie’s shoulders and looked into his eyes. “You should never doubt yourself, because you. You are higher than any of those other Captains could even look to aim. You, Jamie. You are here.”

Tyler put his hand around about the level of his heart, and then he turned his hand around, slapped his chest at his heart.

“I love you, Jamie Benn, and you are a fucking kick ass hockey player.”


End file.
